Jeff Sessions, Astrosplained

Ladies and Juggalos,

I wish Bob Mueller would catch me being a naughty astrologer and give me the spanking I deserve.  He’s probably married, I’m sorry to say.  Seriously, I hope he throws Jeff Sessions under the jail, along with all his little creeps like Stephen Miller and the truly insane Carter Page.  I really can’t wait until it’s in the congressional record, all the dirty stuff Sessions has been up to.  I hope Kamala Harris makes him nervous at his sentencing.  Let’s sniff up on the rotten little gremlin in the hollow tree of democracy to whet our appetites for the day Mueller fixes him.

jeff sessions chart

First things first, Jefferson Beauregard Biscuits and Gravy Sessions has the Sun at 2 Capricorn, right on my south node, which feels gross.  Saturn is the leader of this chart.  2 Capricorn is a really hard place in the zodiac, basically a double Saturn.  The beginning of a very long and hard road.  So he intended to take as much responsibility as possible, and wait however long it might take.  Take response-ability.

Jefferson Beauregard Spanish Moss in the Graveyard Sessions has a striking chart similarity to Sam Clovis.  Both men have locomotive charts, which has emerged as the predominant style among White House personnel.  Both have Saturn-led charts.  And both have Neptune conjunct Algorab the Crow as the focal planet across from the big empty spot, the psychic itch that the native seeks to scratch within the life experience.   Sessions’ Neptune is an RCH out of orb for Algorab, but as with the serial killers, some of it is on the nose even if out of orb.  Algorab is a nasty star, indicative of all types of low-integrity behaviors and associations.  I have found it quite common in the Trump administration as mentioned in the recap here, which is outdated at the moment due to the huge influx of information.

Anyway I would call this a Uranus locomotive, with Vesta the True Believer almost centered in the empty spot, not quite opposing but across from Neptune.  Jefferson Beauregard Mint Julep Sessions’ Neptune is sorely afflicted, squaring his Sun, Moon, and Mars.  For bonus points is it also conjunct Ixion, the one so sneaky he would do anything to anyone for money.  It is also able to prod the sore spot without activating Vesta.  In other words, he may be one of the world’s most amazing liars, able to believe his own propaganda as if his life depended on it.

An unhappy Neptune is about addictions.  That can be to substances, gambling, or just lies.  Narcissism is essentially an extreme form of lying, in which one continually projects their shortcomings onto others.  That is what makes someone able to say the sort of things this twisted elf has said, like that he liked the KKK until he learned they smoked marijuana.  That is also a very weird, left-field sort of thing to say, very Uranian.  Uranus is both the altruist and the misanthrope, he’s simply an outsider.  An afflicted Neptune is a structural integrity problem in the soul.  Jeff has Neptune square the Sun, his ego, further alienating him from his higher self.

Jefferson Beauregard Dogs Sleeping on the Porch Sessions’ shady Neptune is in a mini-kite, a sort of benevolent alliance with Mercury and Pluto conjunct Saturn over there in Leo. Again, Saturn is the chart leader.  Leo is ruled by the Sun, the ego, the conscious mind of the native.   So the chart leader himself is beholden to the ego.  This is about as material a person as you might hope to meet.  His Neptune is afflicted, unlikely to bring him any spiritual insights while conjunct Algorab, and positioned to derail the development of integrity at Vesta due to the nature of Neptune’s influence, that of blurring the lines and offering illusions rather than truths.  I take this particular Vesta/blank space/Neptune interaction as very much like with Sam Clovis, a person who can rationalize however they feel.  Speaking of feelings, the Moon is in ice-cold Capricorn here, the other intuitive part of the consciousness.  So don’t expect any warm fuzzies or good vibes from him.

[Update:  After doing the charts of school shooter Nikolas Cruz, Scott Pruitt, and Eric Greitens, I see that Jeff also has that same criss-crossing set of inconjuncts, the dashed green lines.  I’m only beginning to observe this phenomenon.  So far everyone I see it in is quite treacherous.]

Jefferson Beauregard Boiled Peanuts Sessions has Mars combust, meaning hidden by the Sun’s massive corona.  A combust planet ends up being wrapped into the person’s self-image in a way that probably seems automatic to them, unremarkable.  This would make him sort of very traditionally male I would think, a true believer in old-fashioned gender roles.   Importantly, he has a number of inconjuncts, or redirections of energy among planets.  The Sun, Moon, and Mars are all inconjunct the Saturn/Pluto conjunction.  Saturn and Pluto combine for a really ugly control freak, between Saturn’s petty selfishness and Pluto’s lust for dominance.  Both are considered malefic planets, and here they are involved with literally everything in the chart except Uranus, the engine of the locomotive.   That raging desire to control the material world is, again, in service of his ego, there in Leo where it feels like the lion king.  Sessions represents a worldview that is notoriously committed to staying inside the box.  So this iconoclasm and unconventional strategizing adds to the extreme dishonesty of the chart overall.

Venus and Jupiter, the two benefics, are conjunct in Scorpio.  Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto, both of which are involved in inconjuncts/redirections.  Mars is combust by the Sun in Capricorn, in mutual reception with Saturn/Pluto in Leo.  Mutual reception is like planets being guests in each others’ homes, they are automatically inclined to support each other.   Basically his ego makes him feel like an appropriate authority figure, and the more authority he gains, the more it feeds his ego.  Will be really fun to watch him put on an orange jumpsuit.

Hat tip to the smarties at for pointing out the Ixion and Orcus connections in Harvey’s chart, which I need to re-assess.   I have not been working with those two, so that is some new exploration for me.  On a hunch I punched them into this chart, and lo and behold, quite prominent indeed.  Orcus is a newly discovered planet, and its effects are still being speculated on.  But it is in the nature of Pluto for now, and conjunct Sessions’ Uranus.  Uranus, his 1,000-mile view of the human condition, is the primary tool he uses to advance his double-Saturn, material-world agenda.  Uranus is about electricity, invention, and thinking outside the box.  Yet he appears to be an extremely inside-the-box guy.  That’s the shady Neptune.  Mueller is coming for this goofball, coming like the winter.  Too clever by half.

The North Node is on Aldebaran here.  Any integrity compromise with one of the royal stars, in this case the one representing the Archangel Michael, is playing with fire.  A low-integrity native with an Aldebaran contact is actually an Antares contact due to the relationship between those two fixed stars.  And of course that puts Antares on the South Node anyway.  Antares is toxic masculinity, a preference for unevolved Mars.  Antares is the one who rages against maturity, the perennial brat, another conflict-driven motherfucker like Ixion.  It can be read as one who was born to overcome his worst impulses, because he will be met by the Archangel Michael himself at death.

The North Node is a perfected spot in any chart, the ultimate karmic destination of the life.  It represents not so much what the native should do, but what they will do, one way or another.  People are not necessarily aware of this.  The first time I considered my node it made no sense at all.  I’m sure he has no clue what a mess he made of his golden opportunity, his Aldebaran contact.  General McMaster is the natural enemy of the Antares people, with his Aldebaran contact.

The Venus and Jupiter combination strikes me as a way of putting a kinder face on your sense of entitlement to be king.   Jupiter represents government, and specifically Donald Trump, a very Jupiterian figure with prominent Jupiter himself.  Venus can be very selfish and spoiled, and Jupiter loves to spoil her.  Then Uranus the inventor is somewhat detached from the rest of humanity, viewing us sort of in the abstract.  This helps him along with the passive aggression this chart drips with.  The redirects/inconjuncts from Saturn and Pluto to the Sun, Moon, and Mars looks to me like an ongoing attempt to covertly control everything in the native’s life and the world as he knows it.  Combined with the low-integrity Neptune, selfish Saturn-dominant chart, and Mercury in the mini-kite, this individual probably can believe his own propaganda, and is fully invested in selling it to the world writ large as a means of controlling the many things that make him anxious.

Jefferson Beauregard Jim Crow Sessions’ Uranus co-leader does some strange things in this chart.  For one, it is the engine of the locomotive, the thing the native leads with.  Uranus is about electricity, inventiveness, and alienation.  Nikola Tesla had Uranus conjunct Algol the Blinking Demon.  This is a reminder that anything can be either a positive or negative depending on how you use it.  Tesla was always an outlier, but his entire life was focused on society and the human condition.  The two men seem to have very different ideas about what humanity needs, though, and how best to go about it.  Uranus gives a herky-jerky, inconsistent, off-kilter energy to anything it touches.  Mercury is about thoughts and words.  The opposition here between the words one speaks and writes, and the bolts from the blue of Uranus, could mean big, big trouble come Mueller time.  I expect Sessions to be completely screwed on his paper trail, specifically emails.

Sessions’ Uranus is conjunct Mintaka, the nearest thing to the former epicenter of fascism in ancient Orion.  That was the beginning of this Astrosplaining series, my desire to see how the ancient Orion wars are playing out now, as I see my side about to win.  It’s no surprise to me that he has a chart co-leader on Mintaka, he is definitely a soldier for the other team.  Importantly, he is a deeply conservative, establishment Republican from one of the most conservative Republican parts of the country.   Uranus is the free-spirited weirdo, like Tesla, the guy nobody really knows or understands.  On the surface, Sessions is the opposite of that, the ultimate good old boy.

Because I don’t have an actual birth time, it may be that Jefferson Beauregard Alligator Bayou Sessions’ Vesta is actually at 1 Aries.  It could be at 29 Pisces.  I honestly can’t say which fits him better.  29 Pisces would tend to give him a sense of being able to create magic, being one with an expanded perspective that can be implemented.  Then 1 Aries would also make sense, because that is the most aggressive point in the zodiac IMO.  Again, the Sun has swallowed Mars, which is also important in ruling both Venus and Jupiter here.  Mars is quite busy in this chart.  I would tend to think his Vesta is probably in Aries, because he is actually very aggressive when it comes to his deeply held beliefs.

Jefferson Beauregard NASCAR Sessions is from the south, which is why I keep screwing with him about what a stereotype he is, named after two different confederate generals.  He is like a cartoon character of a respectable southern racist.  I’m not saying my northern Catholicism is any good, by no means.  We’re a nightmare.  Just that in his own context of white Alabama, this chart makes perfect sense.  My dearly departed friend Shelby, the consummate southern belle, had to explain the whole story below to me after the Christian lady left.

The south is populated by Christian groups that do not necessarily have any sort of baseline standards other than the Bible.  An illiterate, itinerant preacher can put up a tent and have an instant congregation, and forbid them from reading anything but the Bible.  Whatever he says, goes.  I once had a lady from the south tell me her pastor told her not to open her mind, because the devil could get in.  It was one of the rare moments that I was speechless.  I wanted to ask her, “What if he’s trapped in there and can’t get out?” which I thought was too obvious.  She would not have taken the question well.  She basically thought I was leading her on the merry road to hell with my relaxation guided imagery.  So being closed-minded is considered a virtue in Alabama for a lot of people.  In that context, Sessions makes perfect sense.   He has Vesta over there in the psychic vacuum, like a bat signal harkening back to the good old plantation days.  His Neptune helps him gloss over any unpleasantries, then and now.  As long as he keeps his Mars under control — no swearing, no public dancing, no pussy-grabbing — he’s a rock-solid Christian.  At the end of the day, he was a self-professed fan of the Christian Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

While writing this I was reminded of my neighbor’s pastor in North Carolina.  He told me that a lot of people are outside of God.  I asked him how it was possible to be outside of the alpha and omega.  Where is that located, outside of the alpha and the omega?  So it’s alpha, omega, miscellaneous other?  Of course he had no answer.







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