Chris Christie, Astrosplained

While we’re busy Febreezing New Jersey, this is a good opportunity to Astrosplain what the hell’s been going on over there, at least in the mansion.  Mansions.  He was working at the one on the closed beach in the picture, okay?  Mind your business!  Run for governor and you can have the house too.  Don’t make me close the road you live on.

I have to turn off my channeling while I look at this guy.  Because frankly I have some serious Moon/Saturn issues myself, and a big fat Mars T-square from hell too, and I can swear way more than he can and would love to prove it to him.    Let me ‘splain what I’m talking about here, the moody ass Moon of Chris Christie — not the beach ball one you can see with your eyes, but the one you can hear in all the crap he says in this video.  Wouldn’t it be kind of fun to just say, “Are you stupid?” anytime you thought it?

So yes, while the people of New Jersey celebrate the reopening of their beaches and turnpike exits, I have lit a candle for this whole crew to go to jail and stay there forever.  He may have been smart enough to avoid doing anything that Mueller will eat him alive for, maybe.  But judging by Bridgegate, and Kim Guadagno’s subsequent run for governor, maybe not.  They all seem to think consequences can’t possibly mean them.  I’d like to know if they’re all wrong, including this guy.  And thus gentle reader I have Astrosplained the soon to be forgotten Chris Christie.  Ding, dong, the mitch is dead.

chris christie chart.png

This is a very busy, eye-poking chart. But the first place to look is the Sun, the prime directive of the soul seeking incarnation.  Here I do have a proper birth time, thanks again to the valedictorians at    Houses and angles add a wealth of information, and this chart, like Harvey’s, is a great example of prominent angles.  This is a locomotive chart with a Mars engine, overall ruled by Saturn.

This is an extraordinarily complicated Sun, with a blinding number of aspects in both red and blue.  This is a lot of ego conflict, a lot of engagement with other people as shown in the video above.  The Sun is in Virgo, so Saturn is the ruler of this chart.  However Pluto is combust, or consumed within the Sun’s corona.  While Uranus is out of orb for the Sun, it is in orb for Pluto.  I realize this is controversial, but for now I am a believer in fudging my orbs.  I have seen that everything is connected, and people can pull their energies in a lot of directions, even if the connections are not so automatic to the naked eye or strictly mathematical.  Scientists have only known how bees can fly for about ten years, you know.

At any rate I am considering conjunctions to be literally merged into one, like plastic beads that melt together into whatever shape, sort of like psychic gerrymandering.  People come up with all kinds of ways to extend their energies here and there, connecting dots that other people would never imagine.   It’s one of the luxuries of the way I work, that is to say cherry picking information from charts of public figures.  For example Christie has Regulus a smidgin out of orb for the Midheaven.  But I would have to say he looks to me like one who definitely fancies himself king, which is further borne out by the Jupiter IC, which I am getting to.  And like with any of the Royal Stars, if your integrity falters in any way, the native fails spectacularly.  This is a deeply hated politician, who allowed Trump to use and abuse him and got rolled for his efforts.

For my money, Christie has the Sun conjunct both Pluto and Uranus on the Midheaven, in the Gauquelin sector even.  The Gauquelin sectors are the range within 5 degrees on either side of the four major angles, 10 degrees total.  A planet on the Midheaven is said to denote fame, because of the 10th house’s role in describing the career and public life.  So yes, Chris Christie is very famous for being an egotistical bully with unique ideas and a disconnect from the rest of humanity.  He does have a certain ingenuity, and the drive of a locomotive, or he wouldn’t be where he is.  But let me not dwell on Uranus, which is a minor player, subservient to Saturn as I will explain below.

Importantly, the only angle that Christie doesn’t have a major contact is his Ascendant.  He has the famous Blinking Demon, Algol, on the Descendant, opposition his AC.  I think it makes him capable of just about anything when it comes to other people and how he relates to them.   He has Neptune conjunct Toro in Scorpio in the 12th house.   Christie’s Neptune is complicated; even though it’s in the grand trine and kite, it’s in the 12th house, conjunct an out-of-control asteroid, and square the chart ruler, Saturn.  If the Ascendant is like the face, the 12th house is the back of the head, something we cannot possibly see without some help, like a mirror.  12th house things, it’s easy to forget they exist.  Other people can see them clearly, though.  Christie’s Neptune is thus IMO afflicted, especially conjunct Toro.

Also importantly, Scorpio is of the nature of Mars and Pluto.  Toro is the red flag waving at the bull, the thing that will make him lose it and charge.  The video above is full of such instances, where Christie is completely out of line with his constituents as though they were drunks harassing his children at a grocery store.  Scorpio is both mean and secretive.  Mars is the definitive aggression planet, especially when you have an Antares contact.  Evolved Mars is about clarity, courage, and leadership.  I have not seen that in him, though others obviously did enough at some point to elect him to office.  Again, Mars and Pluto are both raging in this chart.

The 12th house Toro Neptune got me to look at the specifics of his verbal sucker punches.  Neptune is about smoke and mirrors, when it’s at all afflicted.  It’s about poor integrity — which, again, in a chart with any Royal Star or Algol contact at all spells disaster.  The pattern I see in the above video is that when someone has Christie dead to rights, his Neptune basically changes the conversation to an alternative-facts one that enrages him, and then Toro charges.  He has his own red flag, basically, is his own bull, and will defend his own bullshit to the death.  It’s on the back of his head where we can all see it, and he doesn’t think it’s a thing.  Buh-bye, Chris.

Like General Kelly and General McMaster, this is a guy who can’t afford to fib, even to himself, ever.  The 12th house makes you vulnerable to secret enemies.  I can only hope and pray he somehow stepped in something that leads Mueller et al. to him.   He is quite likely to have kicked enough underlings in the face that it could come back to haunt him.  I am confident they will get straight up his birthday cakes if he did.  Christie is oblivious to how obvious his poor integrity is, thanks to the 12th house Neptune.

Christie’s Moon is smack dab on Antares.   Antares-Aldebaran are in permanent opposition, on what I think of as the leadership-immaturity axis.  Any contact with either Aldebaran or Antares automatically puts the enemy at your back.  Antares adds to other chart factors (Pluto, Mars, Uranus) making him volatile.  Pluto is also immature, mean, vindictive, and prone to lashing out on his whims.  For me any Antares connection, especially as prominent as this one, tanks the whole chart.  (Also obviously an Aldebaran contact in an afflicted-Neptune chart; integrity issues send you straight to Antares.)

Add to that his raging Jupiter, where he truly feels better than everyone else, plus Algol, Regulus, Fomalhaut, and other issues, and this guy is a pre-Hindenburg walking around playing with matches.  There is nothing in this chart that speaks to humility, gratitude, or any kind of grace or centering, much less integrity.  He may look like a beer keg in a suit, but that’s actually a powderkeg full of nails underneath.  In a weird way he’s totally honest, by being a complete dick whenever it suits him, in your face.   He has greatly empowered the Moon by putting her at the head of a mini-kite.  But she’s at the head of a T-square, that lifelong psychic pebble in the shoe.   And again, he’s a giant pipe bomb of entitlement, emotionally.  That’s his deal.  His ideology is his own entitlement, full stop.

Worse yet, the other members of the T-square, the ones in such fierce opposition punching each other’s faces with the Moon standing between them, are his Jupiter/Fomalhaut IC and his Sun/Pluto MC.   So his moods, the way it actually feels to be him most of the time, is the old torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool.  Christie’s Moon is in the first house, which is why there is a highlights reel of him showing his butt on camera.  Even on election day, he doesn’t care enough about his protégé to bother being nice to constituents with cameras.  He doesn’t have a drop of anything in him that allows for that restraint.

Christie’s Moon is in Sagittarius, making her a tool of Jupiter.  Again, Jupiter represents the government, and Trump specificially with his strong Jupiter.  Trump himself is denoted by a contact with Seginus the Guard, which he has conjunct Jupiter.  But Christie has no Seginus or Algorab the Crow contact.  This may be partly why there would be absolutely no cabinet post for him.  Chris has a Jupiter/Regulus/born better than y’all issue.  And he’s moody AF.

For my own purposes of this series, Christie does not have any Mintaka, Seginus, or Algorab contacts.  He is a highly oppositional, highly conflict-driven motherfucker, which is obvious from the highlights reel.  His attitude is purely the raging entitlement to special treatment that screams out from his MC/IC axis.  Jupiter is there right on the IC, in Christie’s deepest heart of hearts, how he feels about himself.  And there’s Jupiter, conjunct Chiron on the other side like a smaller plastic bead melted to a giant one, with the IC and Fomalhaut fused to Jupiter’s other side.  Christie has an extreme belief in himself as an emperor among not kings, but peasants.

Another factor that always reminds me of the IC is Vesta the True Believer.  Vesta is sort of the sorest spot in your heart of hearts, something you would kill or die for, no questions asked.  I note that Christie often pivots to defense of his wife and children when he goes into self-enraging bull mode.   With all due respect, fuck both his mother and his wife.  I chose a picture with her in it for a reason.  Christie has Juno the Spouse conjunct his Vesta, which is all about his entitlement to be king.  Mrs. Christie is actually worse than Carmela Soprano to me, because society has always validated her as respectable while she stands on our throats.  Other than that I love her, totally.  His mom?   Well, he has Ceres on the North Node, right there in Leo, like a literal in-law apartment from his Marie Antoinette wife.  His mother made him exactly who he is.

Christie has a turbocharged Mars, in the grand trine and kite.  Fiery Mars is in the Moon’s sign of Cancer, which is like dipping a match in water.   But don’t worry, Chris has plenty of other things to make him highly aggro, discussed above.  Because Mars is in the prominent Moon’s sign, while the Moon is conjunct Mars’ worst enemy, Antares (anti-Aries), basically all his aggression defers to his own emotional agenda in the Moon.  What this guy does passes for leadership only because our society is deeply screwed.

Last thing to mention here on Christie’s Minute 16, 3rd house Saturn in Aquarius, a sign Saturn co-rules with Uranus.  Saturn is where the rubber meets the road, the one who lays down the law and tells you how it’s going to go.  Aquarius is prominent here because of Uranus’ place on the MC and Saturn’s location. Aquarius imparts a detachment to the rest of humanity, the Major Tom archetype.   Saturn, the chart ruler, is in the mini-kite with the Moon.  Saturn is the psychic skeleton, the physical infrastructure in which the personality can express itself.  Saturn always reads the fine print, even though he writes it.  He just does, that’s his thing.  He likes to nip problems in the bud, even when they’re not necessarily his problem.  That’s the thing about Saturn, he’s bossy AF and super annoying, like Sam Clovis.  Ultimately this Saturn/Uranus dynamic is what makes Christie so very comfortable ruling by fiat from on high.

Don’t let the door hit you in them birthday cakes, Chris.








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