Ladies and Gentlemen, Dudes and Dorkettes, I've been quite the crack mommy with respect to the blog. You were always on my mind, even when I couldn't write. And now that it looks like there may be a prom season in 2021 I'm back with the news you can use regarding one Matt Gaetz. His [...]
Category: crime
Cesar Sayoc, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, It has come to my attention that I am addicted to looking at the charts of very unhealthy people. Here I go again. With the Sun in Pisces there are two co-rulers: Neptune and Jupiter. Neptune, which is in terrible shape here, is the dominant of the two. But the plot thickens considerably [...]
Donald Trump, Astrosplained Thanks and Teaser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86rtxzruP4Q&t Gentle reader, Thanks to everyone who signed up for a free advance copy of Donald Trump, Astrosplained! The book will be out on October 3, 2018. The advance copies will be released on October 1, 2018. I would love it if you could review the book on Amazon, and as always I appreciate your [...]
Louis CK, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, Okay, this guy. He and Eric Bolling both really should have just stayed wherever they went. I didn't have time to Astrosplain Bolling before his teenage son unexpectedly died, so he got a free pass. This is kind of how I feel about Meghan McCain. Sorry for your human tragedy. Move a muscle [...]
Oleg Deripaska, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, It has come to my attention that Paul Manafort did in fact have a Planafort (h/t Daily Show) to work with Mueller after all. Mueller was all like, I'm good. All this time I've been thinking Manafort hasn't flipped because he has an Oleg Deripaska situation. Apparently no. Oleg also doesn't seem to [...]
Duncan Hunter, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, We are apparently draining the actual swamp at a vigorous clip. Behold Duncan Hunter, speaking of toxic masculinity and rich, well-connected guys you don't want to be married to. Warning, I don't have a ton of time or energy to put into this guy. I'm glad to see sunlight doing the antiseptic thing [...]
Cardinal Donald Wuerl, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, First Lindsey Graham, now this joker. Can you tell I'm depressed? I honestly don't have it in me to know about all of this latest Pennsylvania Catholic Church scandal. I tried to read one survivor's account and I just can't. I saw that these molester priests had marked children with a cross if [...]
Judge TS Ellis, Astrosplained
The Lindsay Buziak Murder, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, Unfortunately this is not a happy Astrosplain. I also don't have a lot of time to work on it right now. I will hopefully be able to revisit, because the murderers of Lindsay Buziak (at least two people are known to have been involved) are still at large. I'm getting used to working [...]
David and Louise Turpin, Astrosplained

Neighborinos, Not to get too depressing on you, but I'm on a roll with the WTF factor of the people who keep people trapped in squalid hellholes for years and years. Inquiring minds want to know, need to know. David and Louise Turpin, just when you thought nobody could be more gruesome or disgusting than [...]