Ladies and Gentlemen, Tempes and Tampas, Now that I've Astrosplained Paula White-Cain, I think Trump's other pastor needs a looking at. You might want to put on safety glasses first. Or take some antipsychotic medication just in case. He seems nice. So in case you've never heard of Kenneth Copeland you're in for a real [...]
Tag: Mintaka
Paul LePage, Astrosplained
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMZCkeGue-A Gents and Gamines, So, this guy. Talk about an idiot. Paul LePage is a great example of the sort of person I would no longer normally Astrosplain, but at this point he's a perfect storm of Republican bullshit. Not only is he pale, stale, frail, and male, but he was voted out. Maybe he'll [...]
Patton Oswalt, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, Patton Oswalt happened to throw his chart details out on Twitter for his birthday. Fun! I wish more celebrities would do that. And hey, what a cool chart. For those who may not know who Patton Oswalt is, he recently responded to someone trolling him on Twitter by boosting the guy's GoFundMe page. For [...]
Kamala Harris, Astrosplained
Ladies and Gentlemen, Yahoos and Yippies: In the interest of the public good it's time to take a look at Kamala Harris. For one thing I am serious about getting my focus off of horrible people. It's almost as hard as kicking coffee, and I thought I might die from that. As I keep threatening, [...]
Brett Kavanaugh, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, I have inadvertently overlooked Brett Kavanaugh, and for that I do apologize. I realize I haven't done General Mattis either, and a few others. I also hope to get you through the midterms with a basic who's who. But for now let's look at this particular nail in the coffin of democracy. This [...]
Lindsey Graham, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, I haven't had time to really sniff up on all these gooves (hoof, hooves). But Lindsey Graham has been a successful bad actor for a long time, like Jeff Sessions. One fact that came out in the crapstorm that is Trump's America is the fact that the Russians hacked both of our political [...]
Dr. Ronny Jackson, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, Today I'm looking at the chart of Dr. Ronny Jackson, the physician so amazing he noticed that Trump was a full pound away from obesity. I wasn't trying to be confused or concerned about him being nominated for the VA because frankly why wouldn't he be? Meat Loaf is busy. Why shouldn't the [...]
Rick Gates, Astrosplained
Finally birth data for Rick Gates, my prayers have been answered! Maybe I should start praying for better things. But I have been curious lo these long months, and I'm probably not the only one wondering about this international man of mystery. I really don't know a single thing about him except that he was [...]
Casey Cagle, Astrosplained
To Whom It May Concern, By request from Kat, today I am Astrosplaining another man who would be king. I had not heard of this adorable guy until Kat wrote me about him. Cagle is running for governor of Georgia against an African-American woman. I don't need a weatherman to tell me which way the [...]
Steve Bannon, Astrosplained
To celebrate the Making of Alabama Great Again, gentle reader, I invite you to join me as I astrologically autopsy the bloated corpse of Steve Bannon. So yes, it was super satisfying to see Steve Bannon hustle silently out to a black SUV after getting pounded in Alabama. That looked to me like his Waterloo, [...]
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