Gentle reader, This guy. I started this draft a while ago and now that Mercury has gone direct I'd like to cleanse the old palate. I'm thinking of doing Kimberly Guilfoyle next, while she's on Minute 14:30. I started to do Meghan McCain but then her dad died so she got a reprieve. Let me [...]
Tag: Spica
Matt Whitaker, Astrosplained
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLdxki5-z8A&t Gentle reader, Far be it from me to dance on the grave of Jeff Sessions. My knees would never forgive my big fat ass. But as far as I can tell, folks, Matt Whitaker is the new Dr. Ronny Jackson, another crackpot joker Trump pulled out of the bleachers and put in charge of [...]
Ted Cruz, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, A long time ago I dated a Cuban guy named Ramon. If he were a reader of this blog he might say, "Artnunymiss, you got some 'splaining to do!" And hey Ted Cruz is also Cuban, and Canadian. Texas. Honestly I'm aware that I have an unhealthy fascination with the bad men (and [...]
Jeff Flake, Astrosplained
Louis CK, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, Okay, this guy. He and Eric Bolling both really should have just stayed wherever they went. I didn't have time to Astrosplain Bolling before his teenage son unexpectedly died, so he got a free pass. This is kind of how I feel about Meghan McCain. Sorry for your human tragedy. Move a muscle [...]
Duncan Hunter, Astrosplained
Gentle reader, We are apparently draining the actual swamp at a vigorous clip. Behold Duncan Hunter, speaking of toxic masculinity and rich, well-connected guys you don't want to be married to. Warning, I don't have a ton of time or energy to put into this guy. I'm glad to see sunlight doing the antiseptic thing [...]
Scott Morrison, Astrosplained
G'day, gentle reader. It has come to my attention that Australia has recently switched to a prime minister whose name even Sean Spicer could probably pronounce -- alas, too late for Spicy to redeem himself. I mean seriously, "turn" and "bull," two monosyllabic, common English words. Professional English speaker, WTF So I checked out Malcolm [...]
David and Louise Turpin, Astrosplained
Neighborinos, Not to get too depressing on you, but I'm on a roll with the WTF factor of the people who keep people trapped in squalid hellholes for years and years. Inquiring minds want to know, need to know. David and Louise Turpin, just when you thought nobody could be more gruesome or disgusting than [...]
Michelle Knight, Astrosplained
Friends, I normally make a lot of smart aleck jokes. This will be a little different. Today I'm talking about a survivor of the Cleveland kidnappings, Michelle Knight. I usually want to unwrap the minds of the worst people, because of the extreme amount of abuse I have experienced. I have only recently [...]
John Bolton, Astrosplained
Koo Koo Ka Choo Luscious Ladies, Men of LaMancha, There are many miscreants to Astrosplain (TM) these days. There's Meghan McCain, with her adorable wedge chart. There's Gina Haspel, one of America's finest torture ladies. There are James Comey -- who I can confidently say is not my homey -- and Reince Priebus, [...]
Artnunymiss 